it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
