so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
