so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
