oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
