I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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