So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
