I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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