dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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