wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I am one with the molecules
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
