If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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