take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
