You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
