next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It's just like the Real World with babies
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
