he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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