I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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