just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
