If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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