We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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