I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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