hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
