where am i from again
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
