I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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