what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
