I must be too annoying 4 u.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
