god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
