Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
