Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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