Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
