god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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