i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
