I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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