Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you never un-have a 4some
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
