I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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