you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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