(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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