Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
