i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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