Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Where is the hickey?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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