Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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