I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
