dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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