You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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