my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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