There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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