I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think a kid would responsible me up
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
