Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
