it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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