My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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