today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
