My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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