Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
